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I always depress about how lonely I am...

But I don't do anything about it. 

Truthfully, I don't really know how to change that. But as I'm reading the LJ Elections I'm realizing something strange... I almost never post on here. I adore LiveJournal. I'm reading these election posts just as I read for hours about Strikethrough and the like because it's very important to me. But I'm so quiet... even in my own little sanctuary. Isn't that silly?

Okay, so maybe it shouldn't be the amazing realization it is... but it is. If that makes sense. ~_~; But I'd like to fix that. So, first I'm going to tell the story of how I started journaling... 

Once upon a time, in January of 2002,  Miss Valerie was reading The Princess Diaries series by Meg Cabot and decided she wanted to keep a journal for herself. It started out on a little notepad inside a Harry Potter pencil case/organizer at first. The journal was actually passed around for others to read for a time, because there wasn't anything personal written. Little bits about school.

Eventually, the little notepad ran out of room. It wasn't really meant for journaling anyhow. The journal then made a shift onto what would be a long series of Neopets notepads. I used lots of codenames, for even though the passing around had stopped, I was still scared someone would catch a glimpse of something important. 

Then, in 2003, Miss Valerie discovered a love of Draco/Hermione. And her favorite writer of the time, lafeemechante, had a LiveJournal. Miss Valerie became even more obsessed with her journal, hoping to get a LiveJournal eventually. (It was invite-only at that time.)

Finally, when Miss Valerie was able to get a LiveJournal, she decided to go back and put in entries for everything she had written in her paper journals. Not an easy task. And no one seemed to be reading them. So she gave up.

Wow, what a sad story. Well, that's why that's not the end of the story. See, I figured I must take a more active approach to writing in my LiveJournal. Just as I have with writing in general the past few months. Because as said here, I live by a large set of random rules. I have... rules for everything, honestly. And they weren't supporting writing, creative or journal. So they must be changed!

I think a lot. And for the most part, I'm not even a private person. I'm perfectly fine with sharing myself with the world. I just don't think anyone cares what I think. ~_~;

Well, we'll see what happens, eh? 

Edit: Along the lines of getting this going... I updated all my entries with tags. And I should be updating my profile in the next week or so. ^_^ Silly, how excited I am about that.


( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
May. 24th, 2008 03:18 am (UTC)
Don't worry so much if anyone else will want to read what you write. If everyone did that, not many people would be updating very ofen :) I mostly just write crap.

Hearing what other people think is interesting, really.
May. 24th, 2008 07:28 am (UTC)
HeH. Thanks. ^_^
Jun. 1st, 2008 04:28 am (UTC)
Hey, I care what you think, and I think that was a cool story. <_< Honestly, though, not everyone is really interested in what you or I have to say. But that's no reason why you shouldn't write. If nothing else, you can write for yourself, just to get your thoughts out there or to get things off your chest. That's half the reason why I write anyway.
Jun. 1st, 2008 05:08 am (UTC)
Thank you. ^_^ I suppose it just feels like I'm wasting my time if no one does read it. Because I know my feelings quite well without writing... or typing them out. But it certainly feels good when someone does read about my thoughts. Someone cares enough to do that. Thank you.
Jun. 1st, 2008 05:32 am (UTC)
VAL! You posted! And it's a real-time post. That's quite nice.

I know I haven't returned Miss Masquerade to you yet. -_- I'm reading it tonight. I promise. :]

But anyway, on the " I just don't think anyone cares what I think"-- I think it's true if you wanted to look at the world in a practical way, but we know that's not true when it comes to people close to us. It's just hard to connect, sometimes, that's all, or maybe you haven't quite found your niche. But even then, you have people reading your writing, and I would say all of those people care about what you think, because the fanfiction community, surprisingly, isn't just about taking-- I find that it's more or less infused with a giving spirit, whether it's giving in the form of a new story, or giving in the form of a good review. Thinking about it this way makes me feel better if I suddenly get depressed about getting no reviews/no comments on posts.

♥ you!
Jun. 1st, 2008 05:43 am (UTC)
I know! Isn't it shocking!? HeH.

I have 25 pages now, I believe... not all scanned in, though.

I think you really are right about that. And I think that ever since I pulled away for the world, I just haven't been able to get things working again. I'm hoping that when I start writing fanfiction again (and if I can get this journal going...) that maybe I'll finally get back into that community. And as I said in this entry, I've had to actively make a few changes myself to get things into shape. As to what will come of it... (MorganpleaseMorganplease! *Cough*) well, who really know, eh?

I love you! *Huggles* If I don't post again soon, bug me about it, okay? Haha. Jill asks me every week for writing, and I do it too. Pretty much every week now. I know it's really helped to have her encouraging me.
Jun. 18th, 2008 04:27 am (UTC)
I do read... takes me a while to get around to it, but I always care what you have to say.
Jun. 18th, 2008 07:00 am (UTC)
Thank you. ^_^
( 8 comments — Leave a comment )