Valerie Rutherford (fireflys_locket) wrote,
Valerie Rutherford
fireflys_locket

  • Mood:

Feel Like This

In the end, I love who I am. You don't hear that from many depressed people. Sure, there are things that bother me about myself. Things I want to improve. And then, there's this body, which I totally hate, and the fact that I feel stuck in it. But sometimes, I close my eyes, and I can feel Morgan near me. I feel his love from where ever he is, who ever he is.

This week, I've really felt him near me. And though the week has been another "too busy for me" week, I haven't had as much anxiety and upset as last week. Why can't it always be like this? Why can't I always feel like this? I want to be this sure all the time.

Ah, anyhow, I did have a couple of days to rest this week. The same sort of days that, when they stretch on one after the other, can make me feel useless, actually were so refreshing. I did a little reading, gaming, and watching. Just dabbled in lots of things. I even got a bit of writing done.

I still feel like I want to be writing something different, though. It makes me wonder if I actually will work on Hate You, Hate Me tomorrow. Hmm. It has been a year since the last chapter, and I even have the next chapter started. But I haven't finished a completely new chapter in 7 long years. Still, 7 is a good number in Harry Potter-verse. Maybe... well, we'll see how tired I am tomorrow. Right now, I can't seem to get enough sleep.
Tags: anxiety, fandom, harry potter, hyhm, morgan, writing
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