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Quirks and Nonproblems

I've been thinking a lot about writing different kinds of characters. I have lots of relationships planned that people might not understand or accept. Some worry me more than others, but I will write what feels right for me. At the moment, I'm thinking about gay and lesbian characters, and how little I've actually read in that area.

I really shouldn't even be complaining about this. Some people have real problems concerning these things. Ugh. But I kind of worry about buying books relating to lesbian stories in particular, because I know my Mom worries that I am one. And the reason this isn't a real problem is because I know that my Mom will love me no matter what. It's just super awkward.

I guess the idea of girls together has always been a quirk for me (my meaning of "quirk" being a less sexual version of kink). I think it's mostly a forbidden love sort of thing that I've always adored, which leads me to enjoying some... stranger things than that. For a long time, boys together weirded me out for a very specific reason, that I don't want to discuss. I've been slowly trying to get myself away from that, and finally read a slash fanfiction I actually enjoyed. YaY, me! But I know I'll never like it as much as femmeslash, which I haven't actually read much of, thinking about it.

I'm pretty okay with myself being bisexual or whatever I am. Basically, I see my soulmate as a man, but if my soulmate is a woman, I would totally accept that. I'm way more concerned about finding someone, who understands me, loves me and is true to me, believes in soulmates, and is a vegetarian than what physical parts that person has to love me with. So, if that makes me bisexual, I am. It doesn't really matter that much to me. My online friend just said I was pansexual. I didn't even know what that meant, but it sounds about right. Huh. Interesting. I really need to learn more about this stuff.

Which is kind of what I'm getting at. I know I need to try reading some different things. I've already watched a few lesbian movies after stumbling onto Lost and Delirious on Netflix and absolutely adoring it. Books are harder, because I share my Amazon account with my Mom, having no credit card of my own. I just don't like it when things get this kind of awkward. And it's so stupid, because there are LGBT teens, who are paralyzed with good reason of their parents finding out. I'm totally safe.

So, that's my nonproblem for today. I should probably just get over it, but I don't know if I can. :/ And now, I have a headache. Stupid Val.

If anyone has suggestions of really great LGBT stories in any form, leave them here?