Valerie Rutherford (fireflys_locket) wrote,
Valerie Rutherford
fireflys_locket

Closer and Closer

Every once in awhile - maybe a couple times a year, I meet someone new. Someone, who isn't Morgan, but I feel like there is some closeness to him. This is something that's been building steadily for many years. Each time, it seems they are closer to what I want. Maybe it's something meant to encourage me. I'm not sure if it does, though.

Yesterday, I met someone who had the insight to actually ask me if I ate meat. I mean, who would think... doesn't everyone just assume that someone eats meat until they are told otherwise? I felt some sort of shock in my stomach. And then, I got scared. I started crying, because I didn't know what to do. In the end, it's so much easier to reject the thought of people who are so far off of what I want. But to think it's possible, terrifies me. I don't know how to react to that... except with fear and anguish. Crazy, right?

Now, let's be clear: this man is not Morgan. He is considering becoming vegetarian, but he isn't one. He's significantly older than I am - which doesn't necessarily mean much, but he's been married. And he has some issues that I don't know if I could deal with in my soulmate. But he's a really nice person, and once I started realizing he wasn't Morgan, I began to calm down. And we had a real connection.

We talked for hours. He said, "I know people. With you I could trust my soul. That's not easy to say..." And maybe that sounds fake to you, but it didn't feel fake to me. And I think I bring out this side of certain people. It's happened before. The unfortunate part is that I never end up hearing from that person again. :/ It's like they got what they needed out of a couple of hours... and they felt better. Like a one time therapy session or something. I don't know.
Tags: morgan, vegetarian
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