Valerie Rutherford (fireflys_locket) wrote,
Valerie Rutherford

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My Bottle of Perfume (And why it was all worth it!)

Today is a special day. Six years ago today, I posted chapter 11 of  Hate You, Hate Me as a birthday present to my friend, Sam. I was writing out of pain more than as a present, though. The intensity switch in my life has always been stuck on high, but in this case... well, it was barely more than a month later that I left school forever. Hopefully, that will give you an idea of the pain that was building.

There were two things that happened as a direct result of posting chapter 11. The story is long and unpleasant, but if you've read Miss Masquerade, you could say that chapter 11 was my perfume bottle. It shattered my life into a million pieces. And for years, I blamed it for ruining my life. Just like Sapphira and Chanel No. 5.

But there was something else that happened as a result of posting chapter 11, and it's something I wouldn't trade for the world, that was already breaking apart. Chapter 11 is how I met one of my dearest friends, Audry. For most of my best friends, I can relate back to the point where it all started. There's always a story. The day Mallory came over to ask what I was doing at lunch. The day I approached Christen, who was writing, and we both went home to tell our Moms that we met a fellow writer. Even the song contest that I answered for Vivi. :P

Audry read Hate You, Hate Me and left me a review stating that she was still sobbing from reading. And I was filled with joy! My writing had made someone cry! My writing was powerful enough to do something like that. I was ecstatic. I ran into the kitchen to tell my Mom.

Later, I wrote an email to my reviewer:

"Wow... you are the first person that I have made cry! Don't take this wrong, but I am overjoyed. I have had a dream to make someone cry like I have while reading stories. I thank you so much for reading and reviewing, and if you want some secrets or samples or anything, just ask! "

And received a reply:

"Wow, I can't believe nobody else cried! I was bawling and my mum was all worried about me and I told her not to worry, I was only deteriorating. I can't WAIT for the next chapters. I do wonder if you are going to write any more stories in the near future? Love the story mucho mucho, Audry F."

And six years later, Audry is one of what I like to call Best of Best. She's my wonderful Pooh Bear, and I am her Piglet. We've shared some intensely painful times, but we've come through. Today, after many years of work on rewriting HYHM, I finished chapter 11 for our anniversary! <3 I love you soooo much, Audry!

I also finally decided to write out a song for Lahela, after years of trying to find one. I was wearing Firefly's Locket, and it came to me so easily. The rewritten chapter may not be up for awhile, but you can get a sneak peek into it by reading Lahela's Song. I also posted another song for another story recently, Eyes at Night.
And that's it for now. Writing is looking up... hopefully. Now, I think I'll watch an episode of Felicity before bed to feel close to Audry even though we are so far away. <3
Tags: anxiety, books, fandom, harry potter, hyhm, miss masquerade, writing

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