Valerie Rutherford (fireflys_locket) wrote,
Valerie Rutherford

Ramblings of Depressiveness

Yesterday, my Grandma asked me if I noticed an improvement in my mood on Friday after my doctor increased my dose. No. Saturday? No. Today (Sunday)? No. She seemed concerned. In the end, I'm probably going to have to take more after a couple weeks. I'm still not at the recommended level, but the doctor is taking it very slowly with me because I have a history of bad reactions. Time is dragging on, though. And I still feel closer to falling back into the abyss of despair than getting back to my, as Jill called it, "normal level of depression". HeH. ^_^;

As for fandom distractions, I'm still watching Degrassi. I'm very excited for the Clare stuff that's coming up for tonight, but I don't know if I'm crazy about the sort of weekly storylines the show seems to be presenting in its new format. I like it to be a little more mixed up. Of course, if this week is going to be all about Clare and K.C. (Even separately, as it seems), I think I'll be totally fine with that. I'm just a little tired of hearing about the Sav/Anya lie (though I still love them... mostly). Fiona, I've come to love, as expected, but my Mother not so much. She doesn't like this format either. It probably is partly because we end up watching each episode at least twice. ^_^;

Meanwhile, my big earlier in the day distraction remains World of Warcraft. My Mother and I stopped in the mall briefly on Saturday, and... I gave in. I bought the game. $20 for it and a free month. I don't know how long I'll stick with it, because I will never have much money. But for now, it's worth it... probably. I hit a bit of regret while I was installing it, which seemed to take forever. But that was worsened by my sadness of finishing up Deathly Hallows for my last book club meeting with Sierra for this summer on Tuesday.

I also went to the movies on Friday with Tiffany and saw The Sorcerer's Apprentice, which I ended up really loving. I thought it would be decent, but I really quite enjoyed it. And I think Tiffany did, too. I don't like going out very much, but right now, I've enjoyed the distractions. Nothing seems worse than being alone and not having enough distractions. Guaranteed panic attack.

As for writing, there's still been none. Okay, I tried a paragraph of SoS, but it didn't really work well. But I have made myself work more on the technical stuff, which is both painful and fullfilling. I mapped out some important story stuff from "1985" to "2028"... sort of. Those years aren't really important, because it's like another history, but it does help to keep track of where things intersect. making sure everything works is something I've let slide for som time now. I used to have another system, but it had a major flaw, so I just quit for awhile, not able to deal with it. So, in some ways, there has been progress.

Well, that's enough rambling...

Tags: anxiety, books, degrassi, fandom, friends, harry potter, movies, spun of silver, tv shows, video games, writing

  • September 2021 Favorites

    My stress levels have been high, my energy has been low, and yet I somehow have been writing again. Which has been like a breath of fresh autumn air.…

  • Shuffle Time (August 2021)

    I've decided to do this once in a while whether I've been tagged or not! Rules: Shuffle your favorite playlist or your entire music library…

  • July 2021 Favorites

    Do I even need to intro monthly favorites anymore? (It takes up so much space on Instagram! 😬) Animal Crossing: I hadn't played much of my…

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 1 comment