Valerie Rutherford (fireflys_locket) wrote,
Valerie Rutherford

Summer Sorrow

It's been a pretty crazy Summer for me. I honestly can't wait for it to be over. I've had tons of company, was so sick that I missed my birthday, Joe's been tearing apart the bathroom causing lots of problems, I had to redo all sorts of story stuff. Yeah, I'm tired of it all. My "normal" isn't exactly great, but lately I've been begging for it. 

If you couldn't tell from my recent memes (or didn't read them), things hit a pretty bad low a few weeks ago, because...

Well, okay... for those who didn't know, I've had issues with my periods for a long time. Basically I was getting one every year or so. That wasn't really a bad thing, but the hormone imbalance contributes to some other not so nice things. So I finally went through with a blood test (*cringes*) in March just to find out there was more wrong with me than I thought. ~_~;

But anyways, I've actually been on birth control to get me to have more regular periods... and I finally had one a few weeks ago. And along with it came the longest stretch of intense panic attacks I've had since I first left school. I was barely sleeping for the first two days, and after that, I was eventually so upset I had to sleep with my Mom for a couple of nights because I was too scared to be alone.

So, yeah... things have been pretty bad. The memes were a distraction suggestion from Christen, but nothing really helped. These "imbalance" panic attacks are the worst. They are... terrifying. There's no getting distracted.

Things are better now that it's over, but Jill, my therapist, thinks I should try medicine again. It been some time since I tried any, but I hate medicine and had bad reactions every time. And I just don't want to. *sighs* My Mom thinks it's the birth control that made it so bad... but I I didn't take that I wouldn't have the periods... and it actually hasn't given me any bad reactions. (I really don't think it's to blame for the panic attacks, because sometimes I get little stretches of them when I would have had a period.)

Took me some time to recover. And the talk with Jill resulted in a little upset of it's own. ~_~; So that's what has been going on.

I'll try to post something more cheerful next time. ~_~;

Tags: anxiety, health

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