June 20th, 2012

Purple Flower Book - colorvary

The Highs and the Lows

It's strange. Dreaming in Shadow keeps moving forward. And I'm not scared. Or well, I'm a little scared. But it's that sort of nervously excited feeling. I want it to move forward. I want it be complete. I want to edit it. I want to hold it in my hands. I want to share it with the world.

Though I still have about 10 chapters left, I wrote out most of the epilogue after finding the perfect song. And then, I also finally wrote out what I think will be on the back cover. I've tried to come up with a synopsis before, but this one just came to me. Like most good ideas, it hardly seems mine.

"Jodi's been in love with her next-door-neighbor as far back as she can remember. After his disappearance, visions lead her into dangerous close encounters with the gang leader she believes to be her lost love. Jodi is willing to do anything to protect Shadow, but her actions lead to upsetting consequences. As she gets closer to him, she will be forced to choose between protecting the boy she's always loved and saving the lives of innocent people."

Most of the people I've shown are really excited about it. Which makes me excited about it. So excited that I almost can't contain it. Then my mood starts to dip down, and I feel awful again. It seems to happen every night. It's exhausting. I'm always having to fight a battle against myself. Especially in the Summer.

I am trying, really trying, to hold onto this excitement. Most of me feels ready for the next step. It's just that, in other areas, I also feel as stuck as ever. This one thing going right - even as important as it is - can't make me happy alone.