Valerie Rutherford (fireflys_locket) wrote,
Valerie Rutherford

Craving Vulnerability

This month has been pretty intense for me so far. A lot has happened, good and bad and complicated. And I'm just feeling a lot at once right now. My heart hurts from so many emotions and memories and regrets. But I've also sold some books, done a giveaway, and printed bookmarks.

I've also (in a very small way) returned to working on Book Three. Mostly making some some small edits in the chapters I've written so far. I can't help but be afraid of moving forward, when the last book took so very much from me. But that's part of the process for me. I pour every emotion, my whole heart and soul, into everything I write. And I wouldn't want it any other way. Art and story always have worth, but part of my work's purpose is to dive into the deepest, truest emotions within me.

That openess and vulnerability is something I constantly crave. Something I need to feel alive. It's a natural inclination for me to share, despite being afraid. But that doesn't mean it's easy. It's terrifying sharing your most vulnerable, broken shards of heart with the world. And so exhausting. I have to learn to be more gentle with myself during this process. Because it's hard and it hurts. Even as it often also heals.
Tags: anxiety, magic inc, writing

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