Valerie Rutherford (fireflys_locket) wrote,
Valerie Rutherford
fireflys_locket

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2021 Intentions

Ah, the beginning of a new year. A great time to decide on goals and resolutions. To figure out where you are heading for the next twelve months. Maybe you already have some plans in mind. Big goals and dreams to chase after. Maybe you've been waiting for this moment (like I have) to have a symbolic fresh start.

I've gained so much clarity in the last few months. I still have to put one foot in front of the other (an often torturous task, in itself), but it feels like the path is more illuminated than before. In part, because I'm trying to shut out some of the noise around me (and in my own head) to focus on what draws me in intuitively. I've realized I need to follow the pull of my own heart. Even when it's difficult to see the path ahead.

So, here is my announcement. I'm taking the year off. Now, wait. Don't leave. I'm not going anywhere. I'll still be posting here. And I'm not taking a break from writing or being an "author", either. At least, not entirely. No, the thing I want to take a break from is pressure.

I've known for a long time that pressure wasn't my friend. It doesn't motivate me. Doesn't make me want to do better. It suffocates me. It makes me anxious. It actually slows me with stress. So, I want to break free. And it's not going to be easy. Not in the slightest. But after spending most of the last three years chasing one writing goal or another, I crave freedom from that weight on my shoulders. I want to fly. I want to soar.

I want to make it okay to not create. Not produce. For an entire year. To reassure myself - day after day, if necessary - that my worth is not tied to writing success. That my creating should be done out of love, passion, and inspiration - not out of obligation or pressure. I want to follow my heart and soul fully again.

I don't know what this year will bring. Maybe another published book. Or maybe I'll just spend it catching up on reading and gaming. But I want that creative freedom I felt before I took on the label of author. To be okay with not knowing. To be okay with letting inspiration lead me. To be excited to find out where I'm heading.

I hope you'll want to follow me along the way to see what happens. And I wish you the absolute best on your goals, resolutions, and/or intentions for the year! 💕
Tags: anxiety, writing
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