Valerie Rutherford (fireflys_locket) wrote,
Valerie Rutherford
fireflys_locket

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Ten Years

Ten years ago, I started writing the series of my heart.

Magic Inc. began its life as my little secret world. An escape from the cruelty of my classmates and the loneliness of school life. This world blended some of my reality with my wildest imaginings. What if I were friends with the most popular girl in school? What if I were magical? What if I were special? What if there was a place I could escape to? What if I had someone to love and care for me (aside from family)? What if I belonged somewhere?

This secret world carried me through all my schooling years. It grew and developed with me. At times, it changed. My attentions shifted. But most things stayed the same. Magic Inc. always felt like a better, safer place for me than the real world. As I began writing fanfiction, some of my world leaked into my writing. But Magic Inc. still remained mostly private until the spring of 2010. By this time, I had been writing several other books that connected to the same universe as Magic Inc. And I realized it was time to actually write my story.

This was even more difficult than I expected. Because Jane is me. Her experiences and feelings are almost entirely my own. And I knew some readers would not understand her. I was an extremely sensitive child. Growing up, both peers and adults questioned the intensity of my emotions and affections. I was, at the same time, an overly mature child and an overly innocent one. I didn't feel like I belonged at school. As children often do, I longed to be an adult. This is not unusual. But I also ached for a more mature connection.

What I really craved was romantic love. From age nine and on, I would fall desperately, obsessively in love. And yes, I do call it love. What Jane feels is completely based in the reality of what it felt like to be young and in love. To want to find wholeness in the arms of the right person. And I do believe there are other kids, teens, and adults who will be able to relate to the intensity of her passion and struggles fitting in with the world around her.

Magic Inc. is a series with magic, but it's more about a sensitive young girl growing up. Looking for love. Looking for connection. Trying to come into her own power. Magic Inc. is a coming-of-age story. One that comes from the heart and represents my truth.

Sharing a story is a very vulnerable process for any writer, and when it is based so totally on your own experiences, it can almost paralyze you with fear. As I finish Jane's next adventure, I want to thank everyone who has let her into their lives so far and anyone who will do so in the future. Thank you for treating her kindly.
Tags: books, magic inc, writing
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