Especially with Magic Inc. Because each novel in this series is moving me through my childhood. I'm re-experiencing my own story. My struggles. My growth. My dreams. My stumbles. And I want to keep moving forward.
That's what's so hard about where I am right now. I've gone back to the beginning. Left my progress behind (for now) to start anew. And I know it was the right choice. I've learned so much since 2015. I have a (slightly) bigger audience. I needed to give my first story a second chance. Because it is the first thing any new reader will experience from Magic Inc.
I once read an article discouraging indie authors from writing a series because you will grow as a writer, but you'll always be selling that first book. I remember it made me angry at the time. I think limiting your storytelling in order to fit some formula for sales is a mistake. But there was a tiny speck of truth. You *will* always be selling that first book. And while I put five years into Book One the first time around, my editing skills were not as polished as I would've liked.
I've been re-editing Book One with that in mind for almost a year. And I'm close to being done. But I've felt so stuck through most of this process. Seeing editing as something I'm doing for someone else - readers that may not exist - and having to go back through a story that is five years old has been so unfulfilling. This has been not as much a labor of love as a labor of hope. Hoping that someone will care about this story and these characters anywhere near as much as I do. And if you've been following my posts lately, you'll know I've been struggling to hold onto that hope.
So, I'm trying to figure out how to make editing mine, not anyone else's. And also trying to figure out how to hope again. To believe my story deserves to be out there as much as anyone else's.