Valerie Rutherford (fireflys_locket) wrote,
Valerie Rutherford

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Little Introvert Things

I'm almost ready to hibernate.

About this time of year, I start imagining what it would be like to hide away from the world until spring. I love the autumn weather, but I could skip being outdoors in winter. In fact, I think I could skip the majority of in-person socializing for three months and be fine.

Just enjoying all the little introvert pleasures. Reading. Watching movies and TV shows. Playing video games. Listening to music and podcasts. And letting my creativity flow however it wishes.

It would be so wonderful to take this time to rejuvenate. Recover from the stress of the current year and prepare for the next. Instead, we get holidays.

I know that holidays can be rejuvenating for some. But holidays are more stress than they're worth, for me. If I'm not anxious about what to buy or how to balance the social demands on my time, I'm depressed that holidays are supposed to make you feel happy. And I'm never happy. I'm always carrying this emotional weight, even on my best days.

I want to appreciate the little things again. To give myself the time to explore my favorite mediums and to have the energy to really appreciate their worth. But I fear the strain of the holidays may keep me from that. Again.

Tags: anxiety

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