Valerie Rutherford (fireflys_locket) wrote,
Valerie Rutherford
fireflys_locket

Defeated

I'm feeling pretty low right now. The health stuff that's been going on with me has gotten a little bit better, but not a lot. And I've been trying so hard. The medication I was taking seemed to be overcorrecting the issue even with a tiny dose, but now that I'm off of it, results are going backwards again.

I do have a lot of privileges that I'm very aware of. But everything in my life has felt like a battle. I feel like I've been wearing myself out trying to put my 110% into everything the last few years and getting little to no progress or positive result.

And I'm just tired. I'm tired of having to fight so hard just to make the tiniest bit of progress. Sometimes, it really doesn't seem worth it. I'm burned out on so many things. And I know eventually I'll get up and keep going. I know I'll get somewhere, at least with writing, if I keep going. But honestly, right now, I think I need to allow myself to feel defeated.

Tags: anxiety, health
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