Valerie Rutherford (fireflys_locket) wrote,
Valerie Rutherford


I'm feeling pretty low right now. The health stuff that's been going on with me has gotten a little bit better, but not a lot. And I've been trying so hard. The medication I was taking seemed to be overcorrecting the issue even with a tiny dose, but now that I'm off of it, results are going backwards again.

I do have a lot of privileges that I'm very aware of. But everything in my life has felt like a battle. I feel like I've been wearing myself out trying to put my 110% into everything the last few years and getting little to no progress or positive result.

And I'm just tired. I'm tired of having to fight so hard just to make the tiniest bit of progress. Sometimes, it really doesn't seem worth it. I'm burned out on so many things. And I know eventually I'll get up and keep going. I know I'll get somewhere, at least with writing, if I keep going. But honestly, right now, I think I need to allow myself to feel defeated.

Tags: anxiety, health

  • Lost in Time

    23 years ago, I embarked on my first day of fourth grade. 11 years (and some months) ago, I began writing Jane's journey with that scene. 6 years…

  • Broken Birds

    Things feel strange right now. Like looking around at the edge of a cliff I've just slid partway down. Unsure if I should try to climb the…

  • Emotional Pain

    I've been going through a bad phase. Where I feel so depressed, so desperately sad, so terrified of the future that I can hardly function. This seems…

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.