Valerie Rutherford (fireflys_locket) wrote,
Valerie Rutherford
fireflys_locket

Pressure and Freedom

This was going to be part of my next post, but it was getting too long. So, here we are. After months of stressing over edits for the new version of Book One, I finally got rid of my self-imposed deadline. And I feel SO MUCH BETTER.

I know deadlines can be motivating for some people and some writers *have* to meet their deadlines because it's part of their job. But for me, deadlines are just a way I try to "fit in" with other writers. To make myself seem more "professional". When the truth is, deadlines are really bad for my anxiety.

Instead of motivating me, they make me obsessive. Instead of making me excited about my project, they burn me out and make me sick of my own work. I was so stressed about getting it done "on time". So stressed about making it "perfect". This project that was supposed to be a quick readthrough for missed typos turned into a completely new edit that took over my life.

Now, I feel free. I'm taking my time and enjoying the process again. Remembering how very much I love this series. How it's made up of all my broken pieces. And that's why it beautiful. Not because it's perfectly written, perfectly crafted, or beloved by many. But because of how much it means to me. I've poured every part of my soul into these books and will continue to do so no matter what the response is to this rerelease.

That, to me, is what writing is really about.

Tags: anxiety, magic inc, writing
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