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Creatively Craving

I have a bad habit. I tend to start series and not continue them, even when I love the first book. It's been a long time since I read a new-to-me series straight through.

I'm sure some would argue that audiobooks don't count as reading, but I don't care. Audiobooks have been an amazing medium for rereading favorites, tackling books that have been on my TBR forever, and floating through descriptive fantasy that my brain would stumble through in text.

Anyhow, during these long months of (re)editing Book One, my brain hasn't often been drawn to reading for pleasure. This has been a pattern for me with editing before, but I'm not sure it's ever been to this of an extreme. I've only "read" four novels this year, but I've listened to ten audiobooks. I listen every day during my shower, but I occasionally slip in a chapter or two outside of it. (Like when I indulge in my other editing stress relief: playing Spelunky.)

The ten audiobooks have varied greatly in performance and my personal enjoyment. But each time, I was at least able to revisit a favorite or cross another book off my list. In the midst of all that, I found the Caraval series. I have my suspicions that I would not have enjoyed this series so much if I had first engaged with it in text. The fanciful descriptions would probably have slowed my already slow reading speed to a crawl. But as an audiobook, I am completely enchanted by this world and its characters. And it's been a while since I felt that way.

I find lots of enjoyment in so many stories and worlds, but I don't get totally lost in them very often anymore. In part, I blame my own writing. I have to stay immersed in my own world. That has to be my number one priority. But while I turn my passion into lines of text to edit, I've been feeling stifled creatively.

It started with a general feeling of something missing. Then frustration with how long it was all taking. Then the desire to be working on something - anything - else. And the idea of being more passionate towards everyone else's ideas than my own. Because in the end, while editing is important, it is not fulfilling creatively in the way writing, or even rewriting, is.

And it leaves me craving more.