It's hard to believe, but... I'm having a good week. My seemingly annual Fall inspiration is kicking in full force. I'm getting more writing done, more flowing of ideas, and having more vivid, lucid dreaming. It's been like this for a few years now, but this seems like the largest scale so far. I think it's partly because I'm so HAPPY to be rid of my awful Summer.

Either way, I'm looking forward to a very productive October. For me, anyways. ^_^

Pretty much if you know anything about me, it's that I'm a writer. Or it should be, anyways. I've been writing in the literal sense since I was 10, but I was making up stories long before then. It's the second most important thing in my life. (First being finding Morgan. <3 )

So, if you are interested in my writing I will direct you to my creative community. muse_murmers. "Murmers" because I've always been bad at spelling, stupid me. Oh, well... that's what editors are for. ^_^; Right?

Anyways, the reason why I bring this up now is because my old Master Story Links post went and died on me. ~_~; I had to start it all over. Which was a decent little project, but I stupidly decided to turn it into a HUGE project. I reformatted all the old entries that were messed up do to my lazy copy-paste from Word and such. Found a decent simple layout with tag support built in. Then, with that, I went back and tagged all the entries... like I did here awhile ago. Matched all my stories with appropriate icons. And linked my Hate You, Hate Me entries together.

It was a three day project. I did take a break yesterday because I was starting to go crazy. But in the end, I think it was for the best... as long as I never have to do it again! ~_~;

Also the combination of reformatting HYHM and the recent Harry Potter movie has gotten me reinvigorated in fanfiction. During my day long break from the madness, I had to drop everything TWICE to write out some HYHM scenes. Well, one was for the sequel. HeH. But still. And I ended up with... 8 pages!! The most I've written at once since I can't remember. And though, I'm tired from finishing the community I feel the creative pull is still quite strong in me. ^_^

Last week... was a strangely good week for me. Okay, so... nothing really happened, but I was in an above decent mood. Especially Thursday because it was warm. I was just about giddy that day. I got to have the window open for the first time in months. The fresh air was just intoxicating. And I wrote that day too.

For almost a year, I was doing pretty well with writing at least once a week, but I totally crashed around November. ~_~; Since then, it's been more like once every other week. (Not that I haven't been working on ideas in my head, I do that every day.) What with the GED and Christmas and all that. *Dies* But I've finally done two weeks in a row again! Hurray!

So, then I realized it's time to get back to my one journal post per week... though, maybe I should wait to push for that until I'm positive the writing is back to normal. ~_~; Oh, well... for now, I actually feel like typing sooo... ^_^

So, I've mentioned previously about wondering if anyone on my Friends List would be interested in reading my original stories. I still kind of want to try that, but... it's really hard for me to trust putting my novels online even under Friend's Lock. I'm super paranoid. ~_~; Plus, I always handwrite my stories. I have scanned in pages for my really close friends, but I hate typing. I won't do that until I finish handwriting most of the time.

But I have been willing to type prologues and summaries. So, maybe... is anyone really interested? If so, maybe I'll make a little Friend's Locked post talking some about the two stories I'm writing at the moment. (And by that, I mean writing literally, because I probably have 100 or so stories in development.)

Other than getting back to my writing, I've been playing lots Kingdom Hearts - Re: Chain of Memories (Is that how you write it? o.o; ) and Gaia Online's zOMG. HeH.

So, I'm a writer. I've been writing for pretty much exactly 10 years now. It encompasses my life. I see inspiration everywhere. It's wonderful.

So, now that we're clear on that... November is National Novel Writing Month. And looking on their website just now, I see that they are celebrating their 10th anniversary! Isn't that strange? Well, in any case, I have to admit I have some issue with NaNoWriMo. The thought of writing a novel in a month, to me, is painful. Writing takes so much out of me; I just can't imagine losing a story so quickly.

I've always thought NaNo was more about people who want to have written something. Not people who want to write as their... inspired vocation, I guess. Not that there's anything wrong with trying it even if you do want to be a writer. It's just not something that inspires me. I've actually had some angry discussions with people about this, so I'll stop here. If you're doing NaNo, best of luck, honestly! ^_^

But I'm not. Still, I admire the idea behind it, a month to honor novel writing. That's excellent!!
 
For a very long time after leaving school, I wasn't able to write. I felt like my soul had been sucked out. Drained of my every inspiration. I was still getting ideas, mind you.... but not writing. When I did force myself to write, it was painful.
 
I was so blinded that I couldn't even read. I could process the words, but I couldn't see anything in my mind. My "seeing" abilities improved slowly... very slowly, with time. But the writing didn't seem to follow that pattern.

Last October, I was getting my hair done, and I tried to write a bit of Dreaming in Shadow, my most comfortable, trusted story while sitting with hair dye in (HeH.). And it worked. Not only was I able to write, but I found myself actually enjoying writing. It was the first time probably since school. Later that day, I had a stroke of inspiration connecting a character in DiS to another story I was struggling with. And suddenly, I had a rush of ideas!

All my original stories are connected, and after that, the connections starting growing stronger and more detailed. And it hasn't stopped. Around February, I started giving myself a goal to actually write once a week. I've kept to it rather well, I might say! And sometimes, I get the desire to do even more.

Last year, I tried to write once a week during November. But... I'm always doing that now.  I used to write every day when I was in school, and as my own goal in honor of Novel Writing Month, I'm going to try to do it again. ^_^ I'm counting any story I work on, original or fanfiction. But I'm also going to include reading... because contrary to what most people seem to think, I actually don't read that much. Sadly.

In any case, I really hope I can really stay with it. It might be hard. Haha. I feel pretty good about twice a week right now, but I haven't tried more than that since school. I guess we'll see.

Annnd... for anyone on my Flist that is interested and doesn't already know, Muse Murmers is my private creative space on LiveJournal. That's where you can find my poems and fanfiction writing (though I don't post much novel stuff there... too paranoid). I also make icons and do a little Sims 2 legacy there. Haha. Friend if you want. ^_^ I hope to keep it a lot busier soon! And maybe here too! Is anyone on my Flist actually interested in updates/samples of my original writing? Let me know!

So, I've been cleaning out my computer for AGES. Seriously, a long time. And I had a perfectly good second 300 Gig hard drive that I was being too stubborn to use. But then I had dream telling me to use it. Haha. That's honestly what prompted me to do it.  I was cleaning since March... and doing little else. Honestly. That's why I haven't been attentive to my Friends List. I'm so sorry. I'm normally so quiet anyways, I wonder if anyone actually cared? ~_~;

But now I'm done with cleaning! And free! Too free... I don't know what to focus on. 

My Dreaming in Shadow notebook is falling apart so that's kind of my first priority. To rewrite that. And not use a silly Tinkerbell notebook  that's going to fall apart. Haha. It's funny but sad, because I promised myself that would be the last time I started DiS over by hand. I guess it's a good thing, though... I did my last rewrite of the prologue before October. Before my strong inspiration wave overtook me. And I discovered it needed some work again. Surprise, surprise. I guess it's best to take care of it now. 

That prologue has always driven me crazy... it's so hard to have to constantly write so vaguely. Only use "the girl" and "the girl's mother". Uggh. But that's how it must be. Anyways, I worked really hard editing the first page. I found that I'm cutting a lot of sentences out and blending lots together. I suppose that's what editing is... stupid Valval. I guess I'm just surprised because I thought I was done working on it. But after I did the first page with lines through all kinds of stuff, I sort of lost my vibe and gave up to dooddle on the bottom of the page. Haha. And I never do stuff like that. Only when I really can't focus. Which is rare.

Then, I tried out my Sims for the first time in months and found I was having issues. I figured out the problem, but I'm still frustrated. 

Theeeen... I devoured two whole volumes of NANA. I've read up through volume 18 now! ^_^ My mind is buzzing about with a million thoughts about 17 and 18, but I read so much at once that I can't keep myself on one topic in particular yet.

Actually... that's what this post seems like... I don't usually have so many different things in one entry. o.O; I'm really all over the place. My apologies.

Also! My Nana made a NANA video! (^o^)/

Coming Soon:
Zoo Pictures! I went for the first time since I was really little. HeH. 

I read something that I hope both lovers and haters of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows's epilogue will read and consider. I think is a great bit of insight from one of Jo Rowling's American editors, Cheryl Klein.

Some Thoughts on "Deathly Hallows"  - Spoilers, obviously...


Look at me posting more than once in a week! Should we continue this trend, I wonder? 

I'm still a bit too traumatized to make a large Deathly Hallows post. Maybe when my mother finishes the book, I'll read it over again completely. I've already read from The Prince's Tale on until the end again, and The Prince's Tale three times overall...


Edit: Jo Rowling says she probably will write the Harry Potter encyclopedia we all want! With more details on the fates of surviving characters! More here.

Yes, I am updating. Sort of. I've been meaning to do this for some time, honestly. Deciding exactly what I wanted to do with this journal... it took a long time. I still wanted this to be the sorting place of my past, and it will be. I will resume the posting of old entries in my journal. My past is an important part of who I am. I understand, though, that not everyone wants to read old entries. Just because I would find it interesting doesn't mean everyone would. So, while I'll be making a update post when I add something, I'll try making them either short, or containing some sort of idea of what's going on currently.

Since I've been out of school, it's become harder and harder to write. But lately, I've been finding that even the smallest bit of writing helps. So that's what this will be about. Sorting my memories, helping people to understand, and freeing myself a little bit.

As soon as I walked into the room this morning, Seth asked, "Who's Natalie Olson?"

Finally!

Ever since I took Natalie to that basketball game, she's been "in love" with Bryan and Mike and developed an interest in my class/school in general. I didn't think it would matter at first but then she started talking to them.

Well, anyways, he also called me Moose three times. I must say I enjoyed it. A blast from the past!

Still, there were horrors for later in the day. Namely... Mallory Goguen.

Ever since just before Christmas, she and I have been on almost good terms. It's very odd I must say. I remember when we were in third grade playing with Beanie Babies (and Jewel, my Dalmatian plushie from the non-animated 101 Dalmatians movie) and talking about the Lion King. Oh, yes... and Titanic. Shannon, Mallory and I. That's terrifying to think about.

But, then in 4th grade things got rotten. I suppose they always were rotten... I was just too young, too happy to have anyone be my friend at the time.

But, anyways, how we got on speaking terms was interesting. I was working, as always on Lily and the Coral Orb, when she, Jenna, and a few others approached popsicles in their hands. I prepared myself for the worst. With Jenna and Mallory, there was always trouble.

I don't remember exactly what was said (I wasn't keeping a diary yet). But, she was asking about my story. She was a Harry Potter fan, too. I was suspicious, of course, but when she asked to read something of mine, I reluctantly gave her the address.

Nothing happened for a while. Then on December 24, I got this email...

"HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!! That story with dean is soooo funny!! What the heck was that hermione loves harry thing..it was awefully short! I liked your ideas about the coral orb and stuff, and those magical witches names..i dont remember them..but o well! You have neat stories...maybe i should write some! hehe, you've "inspired" me to write..lol, how funny! Are you working on anything new? im a HUGE hp fan too! Ive only seen the movie 3 times though, lol! OK, well, i just thought i'd compliment your work and see if you're wrighting anthing , or publishing anything any time soon! Thanks for giving me the address!
~Mallory...from school, hehe!"

I was... shocked. Very shocked. But, somehow, that bridged a makeshift friendship between us. Funny.

But back to today. We were in the cafeteria because of this stupid king and queen thing. Mallory was talking about who would be the king and queen of our year. She mentioned Dean and I. Everyone found this funny. Save me, of course. It made me very ill. Nothing could be worse, I thought...

"Or you and Seth"

I nearly fainted. I looked at her, shaking. Did she... know something? I didn't think I could bare it if she figured it out. If she didn't have a clue at that point, she definitely saw something in my eyes.

"I think you like him."