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Skilled Writing

Yesterday, I got a lot of things done. I did four loads of laundry. I finally finished A Game of Thrones. Most importantly, I wrote a 10-page chapter of Dreaming in Shadow. I was proud of myself, because getting back to seriously writing after a few weeks is always hard. But my goodness, I stressed myself out.

After a few weeks of mostly worrying about still far-off things like editors and future books, I ended up worrying about the actual writing again. I had a simple concept of the chapter for so very many years, but things started happening that I hadn't expected. Suddenly, characters were talking about really important things that the main character (and the reader) aren't supposed to understand until the end of the book. I was watching my hand write out dialogue that had me wanting to shout, "Don't give away the big plot twist, [enter character name here]!"

Hopefully, I ended up writing a conversation that doesn't give much away, but upon a reread reveals another meaning. But I just keep worrying that I'm not a skilled enough writer to pull that off. Especially, with a scene that I hadn't planned for ages, the way I usually write important scenes. Sometimes, I just don't even feel I deserve to be a writer. I'm a creator, and I love - adore - my ideas, but will I ever be skilled enough to write something that can even begin to compare to writers I admire? Will I ever be someone's favorite writer? Will anyone buy my books at all? Will they be even worth buying?

That's what stresses me, at the moment.

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
mirrorred_star
May. 4th, 2012 08:56 am (UTC)
You can always take out things and move them around. Or maybe you'll end up wanting to keep that reveal where it is. You get more skilled as you write more stories, and skills you learn writing later ones can be used to fix earlier ones.
fireflys_locket
May. 4th, 2012 01:14 pm (UTC)
It isn't really a reveal... it's more of a tease. I'm feeling more confident now that someone has read it. She knew something was going on, but she didn't know what. And that's pretty much exactly what I wanted. ^_^
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )