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Sweet Vindication and Pain

Just another Degrassi post... And a strange one, at that.

From the first episode(s) of season 9 that I watched when they first came out, I sensed something. Now, it could be passed off as my extreme weirdness of occasionally liking pairings that makes other people sick. And maybe, that's just because I don't have any brothers or sisters... only a step-brother (and two almost step-brothers) two of which I've had feelings for at one point or another. 

When, Peter and Fiona are talking in 'Just Can't get Enough', Peter mistakes Declan for Fiona's boyfriend. Vicky steps in with, "Common mistake. Fiona and Declan are very close." And then, Fiona hisses, "Shut up, Vicky!' 

It just seemed weird to me. Why would Fiiona react that way if they were just close in a familial way? Maybe she would have just rolled her eyes or something. Either way, ever since then, I've been on the look out for more signs of something between them. I'm not the only one, but when it's asked on the Teen Nick Degrassi boards it's usually answered with about 50 people going 'ewww!".

How mature. So, Degrassi can talk about serious problems like rape, drug use, and school shootings but not incest? Again, my acceptance of such things could be contributed to not having any blood-related siblings, but in my view, it's not really hurting anyone as long a it's consensual. Though I'll go ahead and also said that it must be extremely rare for healthy incest relationship to exist. Extremely. I'm just saying that I think it's possible. And yes, I know that makes me weird. But people used to regularly marry within families, you know?

The other day I made this comment on the message board: "I'm pretty sure they really are siblings, but the Vicky line and Fiona's reaction to it struck me as being strange, when I watched that episode. After watching the whole season, I also think there's a possibility that Fiona's the one (only, at least more) attracted to Declan. She seems to get jealous a lot, and is happy when it will just be them together again at the end of the season. Declan, meanwhile, seems to really care about Holly J.

Either way, we've only known their characters for one season, so it's hard to say. I'm not sure there's more to be said than that. I guess I just got tired of all the "eww"s instead of serious consideration. This is something that happens, just like all of the other things Degrassi has shown. I think it should be taken seriously."

And then, yesterday I was vindicated. In the upcoming movie, Fiona kisses Declan. I don't know if this means that something has always been going on, or if Fiona one-sided feelings just exploded. I'm sort of leaning towards option 2.

Meanwhile, my emotions are still on edge. I've started taking a larger dose of the medicine for sleeping, because it's actually good for panic disorder and such. The doctor said I just haven't been taking enough of it to help for that. Jill said these types of medicine are faster-acting than some others for just Depression. After only three full doses, I am feeling a little better. ...but if I stop for too long to think, I burst into tears. It's making taking a shower very difficult. It also makes me tired almost all day. *Sighs*